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Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?

Two idiots watch a movie and talk about whether or not it's better than Jurassic Park (THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIME!). They usually involve a 3rd person for some reason.
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Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?
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Jun 3, 2017

This is a podcast. No need to get philosophical about it. Matt Glasser and David Danby are in it. We talk about The Big Lebowski. These are facts. No need to make this longer than it needs to be. We'll take a convoluted path through topics like milk products, the genesis of "Dude Where's My Car," and Kevin Arnold's grandpa from The Wonder Years. Scott and James are the hosts. You already know this. We'll ask whether or not The Big Lebowski is better than Jurassic Park. Nothing else matters. Bummer.

May 3, 2017

It's the 80's babies!! Strap yourselves in for a high-octane coked-up Reaganomic laser show of an ep. The always radical Jenny Murray is here with us to talk about her fave film, Working Girl. It's about a girl who works. Not in the sense that she is functional, although she is that too, boy howdy. She's "working" as in she has gainful employment. She has an occupation. That's what this movie means by working. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Just listen to us talk about the movie. There's also skiing. We're gonna talk about Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (which is not actually called "Extreme Home Makeover"), Chris De Burgh's wife, and we get the opinion of one upset cat. You're gonna love it. So, in conclusion, the 80s were cool but was it a better time period than 65 million years ago and is Working Girl better than Jurassic Park? I guess that's not so much of a conclusion as it is a question. That's really more introductory territory if you ask me. Oh well. Here's a podcast.

Apr 1, 2017

Teenagers! Slang words! Fashion! Murder? That's what we'll be talking talking about this month as the incomparable Brett Bates takes the hot seat to talk about a movie near and dear to his heart: Clueless! Along the way James drags the podcast down by talking about Ernst Lubitsch, we play a round of Franklin or Bash, and the loudest plane in podcast history makes a surprise appearance. Who would make a better runway model, Alicia Silverstone or a velociraptor? Also, is Clueless better than Jurassic Park? Get up on outta here, ya goof! That's a thing they say in the movie right??

Feb 26, 2017

Golden statues!! Golden statues!!! Golden statues!!!!!!!!!!

Jan 31, 2017

Boy did we get drunk during this episode! Like a couple of young ruffians. Speaking of, have you heard of that movie West Side Story? Yeah like the play musical but also it's a movie musical. That happens sometimes. Deal with it. Anyway we invited our good friend Kara De Jesus to the program to tell us what she thinks of it and that's what this episode is. Also we get real sidetracked into topics such as the origins of aspirin, Johnny Appleseed, and of course the Immortal Bard. Is "the immortal bread" anything yet? If not I call dibs! So that's what you'll get out of this episode. But if you don't understand what this podcast is by now and you still need hand holding, well don't look at me. I ain't the partner that brought you to this dance. I'm just here to throw cans. BIG CANS. ...but is West Side Story better than Ol' JP?

Dec 20, 2016

It's the most wonderful time of the year! When we thank the Overlord this dumb year is almost through. But before we recede into our Winter cocoons, we've got one more podcast. And who better than to ring out 2016 than our good friend Jenny "Jurassic" Park!! She's bringing her favorite movie (holiday-themed or otherwise) starring The Queen herself (snowflake-shaped asterisk: not the movie "The Queen"), Queen Latifah..... the movie is call Last Holiday. That last sentence isn't grammatically correct. Deal with it. Just like we all dealt with this year. Ugh. Anyway. Laughs are shared amongst friends just like one would expect in this wonderous season. But behind every laugh is a dark secret. And behind every discussion of a movie, there's a discussion of airplane etiquette, proper etiquette for honorifics, and auto-erotic robots?????? Are we talking about Westworld? No. Do you want to? You probably do. You're on the internet right? Or are you the internet? Are we all the internet? Oh god I've discovered the Matrix. They're coming for me now but is Last Holiday better than Jurassic Park?

Happy Hollandaise.

Nov 29, 2016

Well I forgot to say his name while I was introducing him, but you know Matt Glasser is this episode's guest. You can read the episode's title. I don't need to tell you. But Matt Glasser is here to talk about the life-changing Miami Vice!! There's a lot of boat talk in this episode, so if that's something you're not into, get on a train or whatever makes you happy. We'll also talk about the perks of being an adult and Matt throws his Tom Hanks into our stable of classic celebrity impressions. And then we'll ask the obvious question: What if you put a T-Rex on a boat? Oh wait, they already did that in JP2... It did not go well for anybody. Oh well here's an episode of Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?. Enjoy it with a live grenade.

Nov 3, 2016

Ahoy-hoy! It's our 20th episode AND our 1 year anniversary, so we brought our A game to this episode. (Well B, maybe B minus...) Boats connoisseur Sky Friedlander is back with to get into the water with Spielberg's JAWS! It's sink or swim time for old JP, as we examine the head, the tail, the whole damn thing! That's a quote from Jaws. Have you seen Jaws. You should see Jaws, it's pretty good. Is it better than Jurassic Park? Well we talk about that in the podcast. It's kind of the premise of the whole podcast. Actually we mostly get sidetracked through a whole range of topics, like selling teeth to keep yourself flush with crackers, holiday-ruining movies, the musical Starlight Express, and pretty much every piece of media that isn't Jaws. Eventually we get back to business and ask the question: Is It Better Than Jurassic Park? I know I already said that once in this episode description, but so what? Is it better than Jurassic Park. There. I did it again. That's fine. I can do what I want. I'm the one that's in control here!!

 

 

 

Right? 

 

 

 

 

 

This episode is brought to you by Salty Joe's Clam Party. Clam up at Joe's!

Oct 19, 2016

Hey we're back! We got caught by the Kremlin or something else spy-related but now we're not anymore so here's another episode. James and Scott welcome professional swell guy Michael Chin to the podcast to discuss a movie from his youth. And guess what? It's Mission: Impossible! If you can't hear it in his voice, James can't stop smiling during this ep because he finally gets to talk about Tom Cruise without any of us rolling our eyes constantly. (We get it James...) There's also some talk of Michael's fear of elevators, Scott surfs the web, and you'll hear a healthy heaping of hat hate. Tom Cruise probably can't outrun a velociraptor ("veloci-" is right in the name. That means fast!!!), but is Mission: Impossible better than Jurassic Park? This podcast will self-distruct in 100-a billion years.

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Aug 18, 2016

I really hate that man! The podcast's one true villain, Scott Volz returns to the podcast to discuss the first movie he thought of probably--1995's monumental flop Waterworld! He joins an exasperated James and Scott for a discussion of the Jurassic Park sequel The Lost World and then sidetracks them through conversations about mutated spiders, the best boat jokes, and the greatest movie about ghosts on a ship, Ghost Ship! Waterworld is a terrible movie. But is it more terrible than The Lost World: Jurassic Park?

Is that what we're doing now? Seeing what's worse? Is this a race to the bottom? This podcast used to stand for something. Something good. And now... Now I just don't know anymore. This podcast is supposed to be about being better. The word "better" is in the title. Scott Volz, you ruined that. I think I hate you. Anyway, enjoy a podcast. [slow fade to black]

Jul 25, 2016

Open up this episode like Patrice opens up packages that aren't hers. On a warm, siren-filled night in Brooklyn, we put on some Sexual Chocolate and ceremoniously discussed the Eddie Murphy classic Coming To America with special guest Milly Tamarez! It's a wild ride full of plugs for Crazy Ex Girlfriend (give us money!), the Samsung S5 (give us money!!), and the hit podcast Is It Better Than Jurassic Park? (so broke). Plus we get a bonus review of Spotlight from Milly and James says "Oh man, I love putting on makeup." What does he mean by that? Why are you asking me and not just listening to the episode? Are you really that unsure of the premise that you have to examine to episode description for clues? Or are you just pretending to not know what a podcast is so you don't have to engage with me, Dad! Anyway enjoy this...

 

All Milly's plugs and links:

-Deadass (http://deadass.tv)

-Dark Down Deep Down Dark (https://theannoyancenewyork.com/events/event/dark-down-deep-down-dark/)

-Boogie Manja (http://www.boogiemanja.com) every Fri at the PIT Loft (https://thepit-nyc.com/event/2016-07-29-boogie-manja)

-And look for upcoming dates for Pyzza Tyme every month at Evil Olive Pizza Bar in Williamsburg!

Jul 4, 2016

One score and several days ago, a film was released that would change the world forever. That film's name is Independence Day. Known as ID4 to its friends, it would conquer the 1996 box office and the hearts of fans around the globe. Quick side story: I saw this film when it was released in IMAX and the guy behind me fell asleep and snored very loudly. He obviously had one opinion of it, but what do Scott and James and their guest Alex Kleinman think? They'll tell you, but first there's some discussion of very hypothetical math, fire physics, and maybe some things that aren't nerdy if you're lucky. Did you guys know that "nerdy" and "Nedry" are almost spelled the same. I just figured that out because I typed wrong. Do you think it was a typo that the writers just left in? Sorry, I'm Russell Casse drunk... Where were we? Oh yeah, also there's a very simple game that one player can't figure out. And then we'll decide: tentacles or tiny arms when we ask "Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?"

 

*After the episode there's a brief, spoilerless coda about the new ID: Resurgence.

**How Much Would it Cost to Build Jurassic Park? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS8a98DJhhI

*** Giftalk podcast https://soundcloud.com/american-glasser/giftalk-episode-1-01

Jul 4, 2016

One score and several days ago, a film was released that would change the world forever. That film's name is Independence Day. Known as ID4 to its friends, it would conquer the 1996 box office and the hearts of fans around the globe. Quick side story: I saw this film when it was released in IMAX and the guy behind me fell asleep and snored very loudly. He obviously had one opinion of it, but what do Scott and James and their guest Alex Kleinman think? They'll tell you, but first there's some discussion of very hypothetical math, fire physics, and maybe some things that aren't nerdy if you're lucky. Did you guys know that "nerdy" and "Nedry" are almost spelled the same. I just figured that out because I typed wrong. Do you think it was a typo that the writers just left in? Sorry, I'm Russell Casse drunk... Where were we? Oh yeah, also there's a very simple game that one player can't figure out. And then we'll decide: tentacles or tiny arms when we ask "Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?"

 

*After the episode there's a brief, spoilerless coda about the new ID: Resurgence.

**How Much Would it Cost to Build Jurassic Park? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS8a98DJhhI

*** Giftalk podcast https://soundcloud.com/american-glasser/giftalk-episode-1-01

Jun 17, 2016

Before you ask, YES this episode has the prerequisite number of terrible Boston accents. Is it too many? That's on you to decide, you Harvard egghead. Last episode ended in a cliffhanger! Did Scott fire James as cohost? Yes. Yes he did. So new cohost Johnny Wahl is sitting in and a special guest (you'll never guess who) brings in Good Will Hunting for us to consider. Topics discussed include, but are not limited to: the reasons George Lucas did the prequels, human testicles, and whether or not you do indeed like those apples. And what's the meaning of the phrase "Unmoistened Frigid Russian Winter?" Your dumb books aren't going to tell you. You have to experience this podcast for yourself or whatever. Also Matt Damon stole my line when he asked Is Good Will Hunting better than Jurassic Park? OK Bye.

Jun 3, 2016

Redrum! REDRUM!! Geez what does it take to get a drink in this bar? Oh hello ghosts who may or may not exist. Are you ready for another episode? Well too bad, because it's coming at you like an axe to the chest. James and Scott are joined by Grant DeArmitt and Robert Puncher, hosts of the podcast Conspiracize Me! (https://itun.es/i6Yv746), to talk about Stanley Kubrick's conspiracy-laden film The Shining. We'll get a taste of Robert's character work, Grant's supernatural abilities, and the whole thing ends with a SHOCKING CLIFFHANGER!! And before we freeze to death one question will echo through the empty corridors: Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?

May 19, 2016

If you want him, come and claim him! This episode I mean. Podcasts are inherently male. That's a fact. Returning guest Olivia Zubrowski is back this week to talk with Scott and James about the first part of the fantasy epic The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Rings!! This episode is full of magic, laughs, and friendship, but also there's talk of Hawaiian shirts, O-faces, and the reoccurrence rate of Mr. Smithers. And of course, we'll answer the question, "Is it better than Jurassic Park?" Fly, you fools!!

May 5, 2016

It's a supersized episode to talk about a movie that's supersize fun! We've got Gary Burns joining us once again to talk about another of his childhood faves, Last Action Hero. James, Scott, and Gary discuss divorce, Jay Leno, and we introduce TWO new features, one of which is probably definitely called Dino DNA, and Hello Hollywood?! Arnold Schwarzenegger may be the Last Action Hero, but Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?

 

*Theme music is Arnold singing Yakkity Yak from the movie Twins.

**There's a small audio problem that I couldn't fix because I'm not a wizard! One audio track goes out for a couple seconds. Do not adjust your ears.

Apr 10, 2016

and a 5 6 7 8! ...then comes 9 probably. Anyway here's an episode where James and Scott talk about the movie musical Chicago with theatre-goer Bill Magee. They'll also run through the origins of Orange is the New Black, talk about babysitting for celebrities, and bask in the miracle that is Taye Diggs. Also, Scott made a hard game that everyone hates! Richard Gere can probably do a better cartwheel than a T-Rex, but is Chicago better than Jurassic Park?

Apr 1, 2016

In the loudest and probably most unlistenable episode yet, Scott and James got 2 idiots really drunk and forced them to watch The Terminal. Then they all talked about it. They also talked conspiracy theories, the proper pronunciation of "jaguar," and made a few good pouring water sound effects. Is it better than Jurassic Park? You'll have to listen to the whole episode to find out!

Mar 18, 2016

Here's an extra special little treat for all you Deadpool-heads. It's the game that was cut from the last episode! Conner and James showdown in the IIBTJP patented Loopdaed and we'll figure out which one of these gentlemen is a Clever Girl (that's from the movie Jurassic Park. Heard of it?)! Enjoy!

Mar 12, 2016

Well hello there. That's right, I'm talking specifically to you Kevin. Alright put your 4th walls back up, you're letting the heat out and I'm not made of money. Anyway, here's a podcast. It's about Deadpool. Deadpool fan Conner Kennedy is in it. He talks to James and Scott about the Australian film rating system, 90s Nickelodeon show "The Secret World of Alex Mack," and the importance of well-defined superpowers. But wait there's more! They'll also answer the question "Is it better than Jurassic Park?" (That's the title!)

 

***EDITOR'S NOTE***

The game for this episode was too long and, frankly, poorly made. So it'll be released as a bonus episode now or soon!

Feb 27, 2016

With the Academy Awards just days away, it's time for James and Scott to take a look at the remaining three Best Picture nominees to see if any of them can best the Best Best picture...best. It's a heavy burden, so once again they bring in cinema expert, Marta Zeamanuel! It's the conclusion everyone has been waiting for.

 

Rundown:

00:00 Intro

02:08 The Big Short

21:02 Room

34:18 Mad Max: Fury Road

48:15 Honorable Mentions

 

Feb 16, 2016

The stars are out in full force because it's Oscar season!! James and Scott bring in big time film buff Marta Zeamanuel to help them run through the 2015 Best Picture Oscar nominees to see if any of them are better than 1993's Best Picture (don't bother looking it up, it's correct.) In part 1 of this two-part special extravaganza they discuss 5 of the 8 nominees! Also you can drink every time you hear a plane go by! 

Here's the rundown if you want to avoid spoilers:

 

00:00 Intro

02:24 The Revenant

04:14 Brooklyn

17:37 The Martian

30:16 Spotlight

43:00 Bridge of Spies  

48:12 Outro/James recommends World of Tomorrow

 

And come back February 24 for Part 2!!!

Feb 1, 2016

It was the longest recording session of the podcast. (Up until then at least.) The editing raptors cut out a lot of this episode in which we write some new fan fic, talk about Hollywood Squares, and James finally debuts his Christian Slater impression. Will lover of love Sky Friedlander be able to get James and Scott to "let go" of their opinion that Jurassic Park is the best movie of all time? Or will they spit in her face? Guess you'll have to find out!

Jan 18, 2016

It's two beasts of cinema fighting for complete supremacy in this episode. Bears vs. Dinos! Who will win? That's right we're talking about Golden Globe winner The Revenant with Special Guest Jenny Park. We play a fun new game, talk about horse deaths, horse deaths, horse deaths, and the phrase "Don't let that hyena get close to your penis" is said for probably the first time in human history. Leo might finally get revenge at the Oscars, but is this movie better than Jurassic Park?

 

Music: "Six Weeks" by Of Monsters and Men

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